Boobs or Butt?

We're awesome. Like, really awesome.

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A Fond Farewell

Today is the day I officially disown Joan Jetta.  She has been my rock and constant companion, even though we’ve had some tough times together. She is admittedly a bit of a pig sty, which isn’t her fault, and lately she’s been getting creaky.  The passenger side front door could use some SERIOUS lube, and a recent trip to Richmond resulted in some YOUTHFUL PUNK hacking off her left side mirror, which is now precariously re-attached with duct tape.  And let’s not discuss the ceiling liner that has been dropping since the day I bought her.  She is perfect the way she is and I am not sure I’m emotionally prepared to give her up.

Nevertheless, my parents have presented me with an offer I can’t refuse, to purchase their Toyota Yaris at a buyer-friendly rate.

So farewell Joan, you crazy bitch.  You’ve helped me bridge the gap from high school to college to law school and beyond.  Why am I tearing up?

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It’s 11:49 pm.  I got dressed at 7 am.  I just realized that my underwear has been on backwards all day.

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Terrible Twos

I know that we missed our anniversary by two days, but I was just trying to make it less awkward for all of you who put our presents in the mail too late to arrive on time.  So … an early thanks for all the gifts that are certain to pile up at (my parents’) front door tomorrow.

Also, as the title of this post suggests, we have been somewhat terrible at posting in this, our second year.  I won’t give up if you don’t give up.  

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When we last heard from Lenny, he was begging for me to write a BorB post about him.  Now, he has taken it one step forward, and is stealing my INSTANT CLASSIC move of stepping in front of a camera right as the picture is being taken.  You can say a lot of things about Lenny, but one of them better be that he has a great sense of humor.

BorB.  Fulfilling all of your nekked cat desires since 2009.

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Filed under cats photobomb

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I think a lot of people will watch this video and think “awww, cute, Grandma-Grandson bonding, Grandma seizing the day, Grandma is brave, etc.”  To me I think, WORST NIGHTMARE on so many levels.  (At least 2 levels).

1) They are in a plane, that does not look very safe, and they are choosing to jump out on purpose rather that sticking with the plane until it gets to its rightful destination: the ground.  I mean, flying is the WORST.  But, if I had my choice between staying in the air once I’m already confined to the plane, or, I don’t know, jumping out half way through the ride JUST CAUSE, I will choose the former, every single time.  

2) Not only are they jumping to their deaths, did you see how close Grandma has to sit to a perfect stranger?!  STRANGER DANGER.  TOUCHING PLEASE GOD STOP TOUCHING ME.  (Like orange, touching doesn’t rhyme with anything).  I mean, the woman is sitting in the guy’s lap.  For God knows how long.  That’s gotta be really uncomfortable right?  Like, I get uncomfortable when a friend’s arm accidentally grazes mine.  Now imagine their arm, strapped to mine, and me depending on that arm (plus the rest of their body and mind) to save me from dying when I, for no good reason, choose to jump out of an airplane.  No. Thank. You.  On top of that, the way they’re sitting, the guy’s hot breath has gotta just be saturating her neck with condensation and ticklish air.  Sign me down.

So, in conclusion, when my grandchild approaches me when I’m 82 years old with this sort of ridiculous proposal, I’m gonna really give him what for.  And also, ask him why his voice sounds so uncannily similar to Christian Slater’s.

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Filed under skydiving grandma

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This is Lenny.  He specifically requested a BorB post, and I don’t know how anyone could say no to that face.  Lenny, or as his friends call him, Clenny, is my best friend’s hairless pussy.  A picture of Clenny in the dryer shows up as the picture when said best friend calls me.  My life: RIVETING.
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This is Lenny.  He specifically requested a BorB post, and I don’t know how anyone could say no to that face.  Lenny, or as his friends call him, Clenny, is my best friend’s hairless pussy.  A picture of Clenny in the dryer shows up as the picture when said best friend calls me.  My life: RIVETING.

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